Body and Soul - 18 June 2020
"I felt like all of our hopes of having a second baby were based on luck"
Deep into IVF and shouldering a diagnosis of secondary infertility, Tanja Mulcahy almost gave up hope of having a second child until she discovered an unusual remedy - hypnosis - and became pregnant within months.
At around 3pm every day the sun streams through our kitchen window in such a way that it reflects a small rainbow onto the wall. It’s really pretty and also a daily reminder to me of how lucky I am to have my baby son Dion.
Dion is our rainbow baby, the one who completed our family and came to us following three miscarriages in eight months and an infertility journey that I thought might break me.
My husband and I always knew we wanted two children. To us, it was the perfect number, a complete family, our bubble of happiness. But our journey to it wasn’t quite so picturesque.
We conceived our first baby, Beau, now 4, via IVF and throughout that pregnancy I suffered hyperemesis gravidarum (acute morning sickness), which was exhausting and debilitating. But, having Beau was wonderful and the yearning to have another baby and give him a sibling remained strong.
I could never have imagined how difficult having the second baby we dreamed of would be. Beau had been conceived via one round of IVF and I thought having another baby would be just as smooth sailing.
Like what you see? Sign up to our bodyandsoul.com.au newsletter for more stories like this. After IVF, repeated miscarriages and a diagnosis of secondary infertility, Tanja defied the odds and had her second baby with the help of hypnosis.
After IVF, repeated miscarriages and a diagnosis of secondary infertility, Tanja defied the odds and had her second baby with the help of hypnosis.Source:BodyAndSoul Fourth time lucky
We booked our embryo transfer for our second child and I felt relaxed, calm and confident that we would soon be celebrating a double line on a pregnancy test.
However, that wasn’t to be and I suffered an early-stage miscarriage at six weeks. There were no clear reasons as to why I had miscarried, which was confusing, and it left me feeling a little uncertain about whether we would conceive again but I was resolute, we’d always wanted to have two children, I wanted to give Beau a sibling and I wanted to complete our family.
Following another, second miscarriage I had moments of doubt and panic but we tried again, hopeful. It wasn’t until our third miscarriage that I started to sink into a darker place.
We were diagnosed with secondary infertility and no-one could give us any definitive answers or explanations – a reason why – and they couldn’t say if we could fall pregnant again, either.
In the weeks that followed my mind looped with questions - how did I end up here? Can I fix my infertility? How do I move forward? What’s the bigger purpose or life lesson in this?
I started researching different types of alternative therapies in an attempt to find anyone who could help me.
I felt we’d exhausted traditional medicine and it had nothing more to offer us. Our doctor’s advice was to keep trying before I became placed in the ‘geriatric category’. At age 34, that was just one year away for me and, even though I knew there were women out there who had babies later, it scared me.
I felt hopeless, drained, fragile, powerless. I was done trying to work out why this was happening and who was to blame, I wanted to give up, to accept defeat. Tanja and her husband always dreamed of having two children.
That was when I learned about RTT (Rapid Transformational Therapy) via a podcast with its creator Marisa Peer.
She spoke about secondary infertility and how deep limiting beliefs could stand in the way of being able to conceive – it felt like she was speaking directly to me. A glimmer of hope returned and I threw myself into learning as much as I could about RTT. When I discovered it was therapy conducted while under hypnosis, so you can access your subconscious mind and identify the root cause of your issues, I was sold!
I found an RTT therapist and booked an appointment for the following week. During my first session, I witnessed a scene in my childhood when I had created a belief that ‘two kids were too hard’. That simple belief had been playing on repeat in the background my whole life unbeknownst to me. We then worked to disarm that specific belief in order to open the door to my second baby.
There was an almost instant shift within me and everything seemed so much clearer. I finally felt like I had my answer.
Six weeks later we transferred our fourth embryo, I became pregnant and, after carrying to full term, Dion was born.
Dion is 10 months old now and absolutely perfect. Having him inspired me to help other women like me. I left my job as a primary school teacher and trained to become an RTT fertility therapist. My hope is that I can help as many women as I possibly can optimise their chances of conceiving.
Before I discovered RTT, I felt like all of our hopes of having a second baby were based on luck and traditional medicine. It gave me back my power. Now we have completed our family with a rainbow baby who’s given our lives more colour than we could have ever dreamed of - I’m so glad I didn’t give up.